I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
