Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I want to be your penis for a week.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
please don't ironically join a cult
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