So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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