Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She even gives head with a lisp.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
