Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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