Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
