so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
