I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Alive.
So much puke
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
