You can't special order awesome
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize