we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dicks are not precious.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
