just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
