I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize