Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Is it because I queefed?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
