i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
