and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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