just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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