he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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