I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
