He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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