Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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