So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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