on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
