I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
