Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize