Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
