You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize