im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
