We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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