eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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