Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
How does it feel to date your dad?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
