I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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