So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I will pee on everything he values.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
