Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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