I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
