Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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