yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
