I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
