Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
