What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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