we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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