is your mom at the bar?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
