we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
