four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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