You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
