This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
