Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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