Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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