My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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