Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
