whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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