I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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