No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
