Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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