I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
