I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
