Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
