He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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