its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
