U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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