we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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