Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
