cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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