NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
